Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm both gender and math confused
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
