so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize