I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
