Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
