Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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