Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
