Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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