When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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