Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I lost the right to judge tonight
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
