My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
