pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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