I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
