my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
