So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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