Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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