Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
