maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
