I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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