nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
