Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
