We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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