Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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