We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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