It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
