capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
