Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize