I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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