im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
