They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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