Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
