PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Screwed.edu
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
