That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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