wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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