we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Pants are for mortals
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
