Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
