I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
