Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
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You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
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He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.