i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
