How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
