It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
