So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
