Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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