U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
