she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
