yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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