erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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