omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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