tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
