I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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