Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
