And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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