Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
