why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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