She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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