i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize