So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
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Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize