she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
