I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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