addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
