That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My vagina is very pro this idea
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
